How To: Piss Off a German Woman

Tell her no.


Sat down at dinner after a rather rough day psychologically. Not in the mood to talk/be overly friendly AT ALL. Plans to go climbing for the first time since the beginning of November tomorrow. Stoked about it.

Uschi says: “Tomorrow you will go to lunch with Jurgen and Laurent to Chinese food.”

Karrena says: “I am going to Koln tomorrow.”

Uschi says: NOTHING! Blank stare. Directly in Karrena’s eyes. For uncomfortably long. Karrena doesn’t look away.

Karrena says: “Is that ok?”

Uschi says: NOTHING! Blank stare again.

Karrena says: “Can we go Sunday?”

Uschi says: NOTHING! just kidding… “No, I can cook Sunday.”

I offered to skip Koln and stay for lunch. She offered to have lunch earlier so that I can go to Koln. That was agreed upon. Not sure if I’ll have time for Koln tomorrow unless I skip the movie I was planning on going to see. The first since December.

After some awkward silence and Uschi discussing something with Jurgen in German (this motivates me to learn, because I want to know if they’re talking about me)….

Karrena says: “I am sorry if I was rude earlier, I didn’t mean to be.”

Uschi says: NOTHING! Seriously. Again the stare. Awkward. Uncomfortable. I wanted to leave the table immediately. Forced conversation happened thereafter. The day of my departure was discussed for the first time. Coincidence? Small talk? I don’t know.


So, what I learned today is: if you want to piss off a German woman, tell her you won’t go to lunch with her husband.



My face during the stare-down(s)


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